Why I Left the Online Game Community That is Really Toxic?
Since I was a child, like 5–6 years old, I’ve been playing lot of games. Lot of various platforms. From Arcade (our people called it DingDong), Sega, Nintendo, Game Box, Playstation (1–3), Xbox 360, PC and many more. I played games on those platforms in offline mode at that time. There are two main reasons. First, in my region (East Borneo), we were still rarely uses the internet because it was quite expensive to having installed in our home and the internet usage was not that important. Quite different from today that the internet is like a primary need. Second, lot of games were mostly pirated. Because of it, we couldn’t play those games online (actually we could trick that but it was too way complicated and mostly there would be a lot of cheaters). I think it wasn’t just happened in Indonesia at that time, but also in other countries.
Then over time, the internet is more easily found almost everywhere. In fact, there are a lot of many residents of their each home installed the internet. Finally, my home is also installed it. Made me bought my very first original game, Battlefield 3. I played this game with my own circle. But my friends were kinda busier with their own world so in the end, I had to play the game alone. Because I was tired of playing it alone, I searched for an online community that also playing this game. Finally I met with the community. But they were not friendly at all. I was like having a military drill from the drill instructor.
“You are really a noob. You just missed a shot. Learn it right!”
First time in my life, I have never ever been told like that before, then I immediately got upset. Especially this is someone that you have never met before. Then I tried to seriously playing this game. There was no more “fun” anymore at that time. Only to gain recognition that I am really good at shooting and prove to that person who mocked me in the first place that he was all wrong.
I did it until I became toxicated. I liked to mocking people who were not better than me. Like “devil circle”. Maybe that’s one of many reasons that happened to people who mocked me before.
This happened also in other games like Dota. I wasn’t bothered when playing with my own friend and we were like to piss with each other. Because I have already know who they are. Of course, I had a little butthurt, but it was only temporary and they were joking. But playing with an unknown person then suddenly calling out your mother out of nowhere
“Hey your mom is a *****! That’s why you can’t even play!”
When an unknown person, who didn’t even know your mother is, suddenly calling you out like that, how are you gonna feel? Imagine, when you are walking in the mall, suddenly there is a person passing you by, then calling you out like that, how do you react?
When I asked you that question, some of you will be patronizing me
“Oh dude you are weak!”
I think you do have some problems. The person who calls the unknown person usually has a problem or problems that can not be expressed directly with a known person. Maybe you just failed in the real world but you are only great at game. So you choose to berate other people. Anonymously throwing insults into other people who are anonymous as well.
But not everyone in the online community is toxic like this. Some people choose to be like me. Prefer to play a single player and only play multiplayer if you could do it with your own friends.
Very sure that outside gaming community, there must be also some toxic people. But at least, I have pulled one of the roots from a toxic place that will ruin my soul.
Bye-bye Dota and it’s kind.
